We are often asked “How do we write personal wedding vows?”. I thought it would be helpful to pull together some of the best personal vows we’ve heard (with permission of course) as well as a mini-how to guide to help a couple through the personal vow writing process.
Couple questions you and your soon to be betrothed should answer prior to embarking on this great journey of personal vows is: do we want to exchange personal vows?
First and foremost, why should you write personal vows? Most couples by the time they become engaged have experienced a lot of life events. They have been through passing of relatives, kids from prior marriages, prior relationship challenges and healing, job changes, job loss, promotions, home buying, just to name a few. Through life’s ups and downs you have learned about each other and you have learned what the other person needed during these moments. You know how to cheer your partner up, comfort them, celebrate with them, some of these we learn the hard way, but we learn. Personal vows are your expression of this. They are your commitment to one another of what you promise to your partner.
How to write them?
There is no wrong way to write personal vows. They should be spoken from the heart. Once you start it will pour out and they you can sculpt them into semblance.
To start pick an opening (any opening will do) and then let it flow from there. Most openings change a couple times as you are sculpting them at the end.
Opening 1 sentence
- Option 1: I Justin, promise to love you Krista
- Option 2: Krista, from the moment I met you…
- Option 3: Krista, I promise to
- Option 4: Krista, I know you were the one when..
Basis of Relationship 2-4 sentences
- This is where you would talk about your history and why/how you knew he/she is the one
- Humor (not off color humor) is always appreciated
- What you love about him/her
- Favorite qualities about him her
Personal Vows & Promises as many as needed 4+ sentences
- What do you promise/vow
- I promise to always be faithful
- I promise to always be there when you get home at night
- I promise to always let you play your drums
- I promise to never make you pick up your socks.
- I vow to be a strong provider who will always be there for you
- I vow to never use all of the hot water
- I vow to always walk the dog when we have foul weather!
Closing 1 sentence
- A closing is not necessary but when done well can really close up vows beautifully (think BOOM! & dropping of the mic not literally)
- Couple examples
- Krista in front of all of our friends, family and loved ones, you have made me the happiest man alive. I am a blessed man.
- Krista I stand before you today blessed and humbled that you said “yes”, for that I will spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman in the world
- Krista when we are 90 years old and no longer able to hear, I will still be listening.
Do’s & Don’ts
- Don’t embarrass your significant other
- Do embarrass your self. Talk about a flaw or something that you promise to fix or work on.
- Don’t turn this into a personal therapy session of everything you want to improve within your relationship
- Do use humor, a small dose of humor is always appreciated to to break up the seriousness of the moment
- Don’t turn this into a comedy routine
- Do speak from the heart; this is a special moment that you will remember forever. If you are ever going to let your guard down, now is the time.
- Don’t read personal vows off of a cell phone – not appropriate. No cell phones at the alter (terrible for photos)
- Do print your personal vows on a nice index card and give them to your officiant in advance so he can pass them to you during the proper moment in the ceremony.
- Do give a copy of your personal vows to you maid of honor as a back-up
Nominate a neutral third party to read both of your vows. This can be your offiicant, friend or family member. It is important that you do this to ensure that length and general tone are similar.